Let me introduce myself, I’m Dr. Sonia Wright. I’m a Radiologist, a life coach and a sexual counselor and I’m a Sex Coach. Yes, I said it, a Sex Coach...specifically, Your Sex Coach. You might be wondering how someone goes from reading x-rays to coaching women around the world about their sex lives. Well, it’s an interesting story of transformation.
Several years ago, I trained as a life coach to help women empower themselves and fulfill their dreams. I loved helping women create amazing lives. But I was not living an amazing life. On the outside my life looked great, but I was in a relationship which had been lacking sexual intimacy for years. I tried to ignore the issue, but it just became more intrusive. Eventually, I reached out and got the professional help that I needed, unfortunately, it was too late for my relationship. However, I continued to do the work on myself and eventually I learned to own my sexuality and created the amazing life that I’m living today.
Having undergone my transformation, I started thinking there were probably many women dealing with similar issues around sex and sexuality. Since I was already a life coach and comfortable addressing difficult issues, I knew that I could help. I trained as a sexual counselor and now I help women claim their sexuality and create the sexual intimacy of their dreams.
I have guided many women through a process that I call the sexual metamorphosis which usually involves four stages. These four stages are Sex Intolerance, Sex Apathy, Sex Acceptance and finally Sex Abundance.
Sex Intolerance: In this stage, a woman is generally not able to accept her sexuality. There is often much shame, guilt and judgment associated with being a sexual being. Little or no pleasure is experienced with sexual intimacy and women in this stage tend to be very critical of themselves and others.
Sex Apathy: In stage two, women generally feel indifferent about sexual intimacy. They consider sexual intimacy to be a duty that is performed for the benefit of their partners. The emphasis is upon efficiency and getting the act done as quickly as possible. Sex is about as exciting as taking out the trash.
Sex Acceptance: In stage 3 there begins to be an understanding that sex is about pleasure, connection, and satisfaction, what I called the Triad a Sexual Intimacy. The judgment, shame and embarrassment previously associated with sex resolves and is replacement with curiosity. Women generally step into this stage when they are ready to do the work of embracing their sexuality and begin to consider that sexuality could be something beneficial in their lives.
Sex Abundance: In this final stage, there is a full acceptance of one’s sexuality and a new enthusiasm to create a vibrant and healthy sex life. Sex is redefined as joyful and something to be experienced in the moment without judgment of yourself or others.
Before you can begin to create the sex lives of your dreams, you have to have an understanding of your starting point. Take a moment to look at these four stages and select the stage you currently most identify with. Write down the reasons that you think you’re at that stage right now. Then take a moment to look at the next stage. What thoughts come up for you when you look at the next stage in your metamorphosis? How would your attitude and your thinking have to change for you to progress to the next stage of your metamorphosis? What is one thing that you can do to get you one step closer to the next stage?